No word on the "eye" issue.  It's moved to the back of my mind, where it fits better in reference to my everyday life.  School is going well and we've just started reductive drawing.  I'm really falling in love with drawing the human figure again..more than I ever was before.  I never was one for realism, but there is a joy to capturing the form and making something beautiful in it's rendering that cannot be described.  I often feel tears of joy coming to the surface while drawing now and it is a truly beautiful experience.  
     Paintings lately have been a mess, so I guess I'm in an interem phase with that at the moment.  The studio is a disaster area, so cleaning it up may free me up some.  Its nice to be working from the figure to assuage my usual desire to administer internal beatings when things don't go right in the studio.  I can tell myself, no you don't suck, look at your drawings.  Its funny but when I'm doing abstract work, I worry that people won't think it's real art or it's easy.  But actually, it's harder than drawing the figure or working realistically in my opinion.  There's nothing to go on, nothing to "copy", no roadmap.
     I've pulled out an old life size self portrait called "Ophelia Rising" that was started and never finished when I lived in Philadelphia.  It is on the WIP page.  I think I am ready to finish it now.  It's just a matter of confidence and fighting off the feeling that I may ruin it.  Recently at work, my boss said to me that all I needed was more confidence and I think she was right.  It's almost as if I'm waiting to get in trouble for something.  What is that?  I just don't know, I'll leave it at that for now.     
     Currently in class, we are working on copying a master work.  I really enjoy this project and I am learning alot.  As much as my ego and authority issues fight each assignment, I have to admit that I am loving it, secretly.  More to tell in the coming days... 

No, it's not a riddle.  There's a slim chance that I may have eye cancer or retinal detachment issues at some unkown time in the future.  This week I went to the optomatrist to get my glasses "renewed" and they discovered I now have a choroidal nevus in both eyes rather than just one.  And of course they've no idea if it is only affecting the outer eye layer of if it runs deeper, then there's the question of location, malignancy etc.  In January I will go get an extensive exam to identify truly what they saw on the first exam.  I know I shouldn't worry "until there's something to worry about", but ...what will I do if I lose my sight?  It's kind of hard not to ask myself that.  I'm trying to look at it positively and tell myself, well make the most of what time you have in that case.  "you don't want to regret wasting the time you had by not painting", etc.  My husband says that I'll do what I do now in reference to the painting question.  I'm not sure how that is even possible.  So much of what I paint is a reaction to what I see developing on the canvas/paper in front of me.  What would I do?  I don't know.  I've time to explore it I suppose.  I'm still scared and at the same time attempting to at least get in the studio once a day until I really know.  And that's good to do in any case.  I really think that I'm just going to spend some time reflecting on what life would be like, how I would adjust, what are the benefits and the consequences?  What really matters?  Looks like it's time to start meditating more.     

Running out to mail October's bestowal and then off to the framer to pick up work for upcoming showing.  He's also ordered some archival storage materials for me.  I'm going to begin the clean and repair all work in storage and photograph for reference.  I'm sure the process will generate some ideas.  This month's piece is a small ink figure gesture that I've always had a special liking for.  As soon as I charge up the camera battery, It will be posted.  This week I am fortunate to have 3 days off from the day job and get some order/balance back in my life.