No studio yesterday.  I was extremely tired after 12 hours at work and no matter how disciplined I am, I just don't go in there before work in the morning at 6am.  Yesterday at work I felt myself getting angry at people for how they acted, what they asked for, when they asked for it and I pre-judged alot.  Again and again I reminded myself that my anger was due to my expectations and inability to accept the situation as it was.  I kept coming back to "when your mind attaches itself and makes a problem of what there is or is not".  I make the problem myself from both my expectations and judgements.  Just because I judge someone to be a certain way, is it so?  Just because I expect things to be a certain way, will they turn out that way?  And who says my perceptions are correct or even matter anyway?  They are all "problems" that my mind makes on it's own.  I am very lucky that I have a job with very simple guidelines and priorities.  It can become for me a very zen experience if I stay focused and present.  As I was putting out new produce and thinking to myself "are you focusing on this act, are you 'walking, walking'?", etc, I kept getting images in my mind of what I wanted to do next in the studio and new process ideas popped into my mind.... I had one of the precious few moments in recent months that I was excited to create and there was no self depricating background thought of, "what does it matter?  it'll turn out crappy anyway....and worst of all, I refuse to go in there just because 'I should'."  I really hate it when the "I should" thought creeps up in any situation, because I instantly rebel when that happens, whether it be excercise, painting, cleaning or going out in the garden.  How sick is that, when I enjoy all of those things?  It really does make me laugh out loud when I consider it. 

This morning I started some new studies and will get back to them after I see the massage therapist and chiropractor.  I'm working on changes related to drying times at the moment.  I also posted the rest of the existing studies this morning.

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