"The proper utilization of our intelligence and knowledge is to effect changes from within to develop a good heart."  Been thinking of this idea alot lately.  Also keeping unecessary/unproductive anger at bay.  Pops up now and again and when I become aware of it, I am truly able to recognize it and allow it's passing.  I am grateful for the work I am doing to achieve a more loving heart.  When someone makes me angry, I look into their eyes and make a connection.  It is useful to use the tool of imaging that person is my mother or father.  The anger I have (and sometimes we both shared) melts away.  An amazing and rewarding phenomenon.  I spoke to my sister and mother recently about the many years and ways that I have sought inner peace.  Without this, I know I would not be here today.  It started in my late teens.  Alateen, Alanon, CODA, therapy, meditation, re-parenting classes, my art(always), the monastery, running, more therapy, reading, reading, reading the teachings of the Dalai Lama.  Practice has become the biggest learning experience of all....And not just meditation practice, but putting those teachings into action.  Love, tolerance and generosity grow in me each day.  It is often a battle.  Win or lose, it is a constant process.  I love process, in both my art and my life.  It's funny that I now see this in writing, because I've struggled so many times with focusing on the end result.  Maybe, if only for a moment, I have reached the conclusion I've always wanted, to be present and enjoy the process.  

Leave a Reply